"Get Your Head Out of Gravity"

A lot of the being able to navigate the chaos and upheaval and even scatteredness [of life] comes down to keeping your body soft and supple--so, …the opposite of rigid and brittle."

This week marks what finally feels like a semblance of the end of my 3rd dance with Covid-19—the “Flirt” variant? No less. …Cheeky. Now topped off with a bronchial infection, a course of steroids, antibiotics, strong cough suppressants and herbal supports have wonderfully helped across the past weekend.

"Grateful for modern medicine and ancient medicine together," has been the message back to Loving friends and colleagues who've kept tabs on my status.

Days ago, as I was moving ever so slowly through the process of sensing into what it looks like for me to re-engage with my work and my life from here, moved on from my sick-bed/couch--as opposed to shouldering a “catching up” mindset—I saw an alert on my phone that made me aware of the newness of the moon: 0% illuminated, to be exact.

‘How might this help me too,’ I wondered to myself.

By the later morning that day though, I’d gotten swept up into a lot of emailing and texting back-and-forth about the celebratory event I was to co-host a couple of days out from there—finalizing menus, coordinating deposits, coordinating signers, executing contracts, compiling reflections from my client base inside the particular group I’d planned to include in my talking points at the upcoming dinner gathering; braiding in those actions with the actions of hopping on and off phone calls, completing forms and doing more emailing to ensure my kiddos have what they need for their homeschool co-op classes, their swim lessons and their dance experiences.

...Grocery order, Money Routine (Hey, Coach Aqura), coordinate collaborative dinner prep with my immediate kinship (salmon cakes, fried apples, sun brewed lemon balm tea, cold-pressed watermelon juice and no bull burgers), enjoy a phone call with my parents (had a wonderfully long talk with my dad) and make a plan to ensure my mama got some of the food she couldn’t make it over to eat with us since she was “elbow deep in preparing” for her work-week ahead.

At some point it occurred to me again, “Remember? The moon.”

Right there, I dropped my pace down a few more clicks to more deliberately, more intentionally begin harnessing the gentle yet steady presence of the new moon energy flow through cleansing and hygiene rituals (particularly fitting post-sickness): for my person and for my living spaces—opening windows, turning on a fans to move the air around, stripping and redressing my bed linens (complete with lavender-scented sheet spray) shampooing my hair, showering, anointing my head and whole body with Love-infused oils, moving eucalyptus, spearmint and peppermint oils through my diffuser, then ... getting my head out of gravity, for 5-10 minutes, at least. 

This lovely little mantra was a gift I mined into (with all my good question-asking ways) and heard deeply from my chiropractor (shout out to Dr. James Tickel in Charlottesville and his beautiful wife, my colleague and friend, Dr. Kimberly Sanders).

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Short background story on the mantra:

I’d visited Dr. Tickel one afternoon for an adjustment, post-a full neck lock-up situation and efforts to recover from that. By holding up my left foot and then my right foot in the air as I was laying on my back, then having me look left, look right, look down and look up, he sensed and narrowed in on “tension and congestion” (as I like to call it) concentrated in my “left occiput” region—the area between my left ear and left shoulder.

“Yeah! What can I do to help this part of my body? Are there certain exercises? Would weight training help?”

Breaking himself out of the deep body-working focus he was in, getting me all realigned and decompressed, he eventually responded:

“Number one thing, rest. Get your head out of gravity. 5-10 minutes each day, midday. Number two, walk backwards. Dance. Anything that backs you out of the forward pull. Resistance bands, bringing the arms up and out, away from texting, emailing, doing, driving, etc. … Here [in America] we have more gyms and more food than anyone can count. Most of [what ails us] is mental.”

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Also important to name here, is that, in working with the new moon energy—coming out of sickness and being sidelined, yet again--I wanted to tap in just a little more deeply so I looped in another good friend of mine, Jamila (Ja-MEE-lah) York-Talbot of Mama Luvs Herbs. She pulled cards for me which illuminated some things to both sit with and take into my dreamspace that night—things to tend to and to clear out in my subconscious space.

Woke up fairly refreshed and ready to move through the many pre-event errands that awaited me the next day and, wouldn't you know it, entered into my beautiful new-to-me vehicle only to find that the battery was dead dead. Like, completely flatlined.

–Stakeholders waiting on me. Item pick-ups to tend to. Signatures to collect. Homeschool to get back home to facilitate. A business to run in the background.

I immediately notified as many folx as I could about the situation and was pleased to be received with kindness, respect and Love at every turn. 

So I sat there, "breathing slowly and allowing the chuckles to come through" because...really... What is life right now?

I even let myself write a little song and record it as a voice memo... 

"Car won't start this mornin'/ billion things to do/ maybe it's tryna help me/ stop to take a breath or two/

not just around this/ but around everything/

all of the details/ and the pendulum swing/

I'm going up, down and sideways/ spiraling all around/ 

while keeping my feet on the ground/

maybe i need/ maybe i need/ maybe i need to let go/ 

swirl in frenzy, let go/

frenzied in joy/ frenzied in joy/ frenzied in joy

smile across my face/ a bop in my shoulders/ amused at this place/ 

breathing slowly/ present in my body and here to let go too...”

And the folx over at the Lincoln servicing department were amazing. Sent a maintenance vehicle over to replace my battery within the hour and confirmed the plans for the upcoming extended service stay that had already been in the works.

Steady breath. Steady softness. Steady ease, releasing and pacing. Accepting what is. Leaning into flexibility. Pressing forward to the degrees that I can. 

Then lo, more beautiful and steady unfolding--maybe arguably as result?

Journeyed on from the dead battery to sit in an office with community partners to do work and to also touch into our shared humanity. Keep it real; keep it honest–commiserate a little bit. 

When one of them shared about the work she is doing in her life right now around releasing control, I felt compelled to share in turn this point that began forming for me as I was sitting earlier, waiting for the maintenance vehicle to come get my battery together this morning--while big blockages, redirection and chaos were presenting.

*Trigger Warning: brief mention of alcohol-related car accidents*

"It may sound a little morbid at first but stay with me: You've heard about how people who are inebriated during a car accident tend to walk away with fewer broken bones and injuries due the fact that their bodies are so relaxed at the time of impact? And how when your body is under complete sedation for a surgery you are pliable in ways that may surprise you?

“End discussion of alcohol-related car accidents.”

A lot of the being able to navigate the chaos and upheaval and even scatteredness comes down to keeping your body soft and supple--so, …the opposite of rigid and brittle."

And I sensed that that point landed strong for them. It's definitely landing strong these days for me.

Once back home, this beautiful couple stopped by my porch to sit a few moments on their way to gather up all their many beautiful children from their various concluding school days because the wife in the couple was to fill in for another of the certificate signers (for the earlier-mentioned event I was to host that evening). And I just Love all of that overlapping and intersectionality at play in that, realtime. 

Penultimately, while at my Freewrite typewriter, on my porch, amazing late summer/early fall-ish breeze circulating, after the time I got to spend working through spelling lessons with my twin suns and beginning this writing session with myself, just because—joy—the woman who helps my kinship and compound with the laundry came outside as she was leaving to acknowledge how much better I'm looking (since Covid and the bronchial infection), how it occurred to her that she's been with us for a year now this week and how she was reflecting on how she witnesses me lead my household:

"I notice how you take your time and are committed to not overwhelming yourself with anything, and last week I was at home feeling overwhelmed and I thought to myself 'I'm gonna do what Yolonda does,’ and I told my husband, I'm gonna do the laundry this weekend instead of every day this week and he was like, ‘Yes! rest!’ and I just let myself relax! It felt great and this weather today is amazing. It makes me feel so happy." 

And poetry-jam snapping my fingers I smiled the biggest smile and reflected back to her,

"Yes! And I'm so glad your husband was like, ‘Yes, rest.’ That lets me know you got a good one."

Final moments writing out this reflection involved a call from one of the venue coordinators for this evening, sorting out the final details. …We got it done.

"And did you sign up for the Greens Cook-Off this weekend?"

"I did," just oozing confidence. “I tried to enter both the greens and the mac and cheese but we'll see."

"Well, I know both of them hit hard last time I had them."

We laughed and offered parting salutations,
"Okaaaay! I'ma see you this evening and this weekend then!"

"Yes, indeed. Take care."

Take care. -Y. x